Happy Halloween!!

via gizmodo

- i paid off my Tahoe this morning
- i purchased my first jar of Peter Pan in 6 months (this may be #1 actually)
- hunting season is less than one month away

NOTE: i stand by my previous statements that this blog is not about Ice Colds daily thoughts. this post is just filler until the next hilarious installment of whatever i come up with.

i think i have AIDS

To Make Fun Of
1) "Daily Dwayne" should be renamed to "Every once in awhile Dwayne"... CHECK
2) Pictures of dogs on blog... CHECK
3) Blatant whoring of Amazon.com through Daily Dwayne... CH.. oh shit.

UPDATE: you know who always whores Amazon.com through his site? Daily Dwayne

now i am done. though i do believe i am going to keep the do rag that Jones made cause its freaking sweet.

UPDATE: big ups to Jones for the do rag...

if that is the case, then my kids economic status rivals most third world countries. the only reason i am even able to find the time to write this post is because it has slowed a bit in the last few weeks.

by my calculations we were changing 12 - 16 diapers a day for the first 3 weeks and 8 - 10 for the first 3 months.

(14 diapers x 7 days x 3 weeks = 294 diapers) + (11 diapers x 30 days x 2.1 months = 693 diapers) = 987 diapers by 3 months

now we have 96 diapers at $28, or ~ $0.30 each (sale at Amazon.com)

$0.30 X 987 diapers = $296

that is almost $300 for 3 months (bout $100 month) just for something to catch poo. now of those 987 diapers i would say 85% were actually full when removed, so that leaves ~ 838 truly "dirty" diapers. if i were to guess the weight of a typical dirty diaper i would say 2lbs. but more realistically it would be more like 8oz.

838 dirty diapers X 8oz = 6704oz == 419 lbs

um....

419 pounds of shit. holy shit. wait. that cant be right.

it just makes me laugh to say it.

my assumptions:

Tucker/Jones - Mika
Me - Wham!
Hoover - Carly Simon?

i had no clue what i was writing about because the gangsta rap scene had not yet hit the quiet Warrenton neighborhood of Marstella II. at least not north of the big sledding hill.

this post has nothing to do with that (except i still dont know what i am talking about most times).

i am referring to a completely different type of censorship. one not controlled by courts or government, but one controlled by the audience of Ice Cold. Just before my hiatus last year i caught myself nixing posts that could possibly offend co-workers, friends, random black people, etc. in fear that they would read it here. i am here to tell you this is unacceptable for Ice Cold 3.0. i will no longer take into consideration "what if _____ reads this?" i dont care if _____ does read this, it is what i think, and i control this website** so you will listen to what i have to say.

of course this means that one day my daughter and her friends will be on the interweb and one of their friends will be like, "i found this AWESOME website! check it out". and she will fire up her virtual reality uber computer and do something really cool that we dont have yet to get here. she will read it and her face will turn red with embarrassment as she realizes that her father (the professional hunter, fisherman, beach layer) was actually a huge tool when he was younger. she will immediately pretend her mother is calling and run out of the room. "What mom?!! Be there in a second!"

** I do not control this website, I am at the mercy of the JT's

*IMPORTANT*
I do not have any issues with gay people. As a matter of fact I am a big supporter of do what (or who) you gotta do.

That being said, gay men in a public bathroom creates an interesting scenario. The urinal community is one of forced unity, just ask hoover about his shy bathroom issues. There are times that another man may inadvertently see another mans mule.

Here in lies the issue, wieners are like boobs to gay dudes right? If there were boobs exposed 3 feet away, you would look.

See where I am going with this. Do gay dudes in a public bathroom sneak peaks at hogs? If they do should I be offended? Again if there were boobs I would look so I cant blame him. What if he doesn't look? Am I not good looking enough?

It is not that I did not have anything fun or exciting happen, I did, it is just I was not sure documenting it here was worth it. I mean lets face it, do you want to hear me talk about my jobs (at a new one), home projects (shit breaks constantly), family (gorgeous wife and beautiful new baby girl), friends (the ones who are still around and the ones I have not seen in some time)? You have read those blogs, they don't really keep you interest do they? You read them cause you feel like you should, but really you are bored to high hell. That is not the goal here.

That being said you may ask "Why now?" or "Whats different?" Why resurrect Ice Cold from its peaceful dormant slumber? I'll tell you I have no fucking clue other than the fact that they have build spell checking into these things now. Seriously the equivalent of a wheelchair ramp for my spelling disability. That and I feel like I have things to say, funny things, provocative things, insightful things. Well maybe not that last one, but you get my drift. Also Hoover and Tucker keep bitching about it.

So we will try it out for a bit. I am looking towards monthly content, with a few fluffers in between (it is ok to laugh about fluffers here, thats what we do).

What will the first post to Ice Cold 3.0 be about? I know, but you will just have to wait...

... ok ok, its about homosexuals...