Ice Cold

LIQUOR TO LIKE HER
(Tom Hemby / Paul Overstreet)

Hank Williams Jr.

It takes a whole lot of liquor
To like her
Thats why I drink all the time
It takes a whole lot of liquor
To like her
But when I'm liquored up
I like her just fine

She wants to tell me where to go
Tell me what to do
Tell me what to eat
And how loud I can chew
She even wants to tell me
What thoughts I oughta think
It used to drive me crazy
Till it drove me to drink

It takes a whole lot of liquor
To like her
Thats why I drink all the time
It takes a whole lot of liquor
To like her
But when I'm liquored up
I like her just fine

Well shes such a pretty thing
You'd think shes heaven sent
She's the quarrelsome kind
Love's an argument
She could yell all day
She can scream all night
I just sit there smilin
As high as a kite

It takes a whole lot of liquor
To like her
Thats why I drinking all the time
It takes a whole lot of liquor
To like her
But when I'm liquored up
I like her just fine

This drinking buddy of mine
Said he met a girl
Said she was the meanest
Woman in the world
I saw her pretty picture
I said man your poking fun
Then the day I met her
I said pour me one

It takes a whole lot of liquor
To like her
Thats why I drink all the time
It takes a whole lot of liquor
To like her
But when I'm liquored up
I like her just fine

You may look down your nose at me
Think I'm an old sorry
Son of a bean
The only way I'm giving up
My drinking glass is if I can
Find a way to get her off my back

Posted by at 11:10 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

from Gizmodo

somone has an awesome, yet sick, sence of humor.

Posted by at 3:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

here is a light survey that came to me in the bathroom of all places.

for the guys: which urinal do you use?

in the typical public mens room there are 2 tall boy urinals and one short boy urinal. ones base is knee height and the others are mid thigh respectivly. i am looking for a corrilation in stall choice and height.

i need your responses:

choice - short boy/tall boy
height - feet' inches"
theory on why you make the choice you make.

the controled standard - assume that the bathroom is vacant and all stalls are functioning properly and clean.

Posted by at 3:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

today is the 1 year anniversary of Ice Cold. i remember the look that my laptop shot me from across that crowded room. it was a sort of come hither stare. from that point on, it was fate bringing us together.

feeling nostalgic i began combing through my earliest posts, and i must say that rules developed on day 1 hold true on day 366.

get it straight

Well, here i am. Blogging. Welcome to the 2000's Mr. Ryan!!!
First off, lets make sure that no one is expecting something more than i am offering.
1. i cannot spell. never could. never will. deal.
2. grammer is something that comes in cracker form. i do not want 100 comments telling me how i should use "there" instead of "their". don't even get me started on "they're".
3. as you will soon find out i have nothing interesting to talk about. i mean i may think it is hi-larious, but chances are you may not.
4. i will continue to use JT's virtually uncrackable form of name masking (eg JT, JT, JZ, Dwayne Hoover, CW, MB, etc.). i just think it is funny.

lost my train of thought...

freekin pulitzer...

Posted by at 9:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

another session of Darts & Pats

Pat...
a "thanks-for-believing-me" pat to Staples for allowing me to return an ipaq battery even though it was against policy. and especially after i mentioned that i could have easily returned the "bad" battery and kept the new one.

Dart...
a "turn-me-upside-down-and-shake-me" dart to the dulles toll road for approving the toll hike to $0.75 at the plazas and $0.50 at the exits. i guess they call it a hike cause that is what i am going to have to do to get to work. money grubbing bastards. hike takes affect May 1.

Posted by at 8:48 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

now i may be clasifying my self to some (Tucker), but not everyone knows (or thinks they know) everything about the wonderful world of computers. for everyone else there is lifehacker.

dig around there a bit, i bet most of you will find some useful tidbits you may not have known. i have been reading since its conception a few months ago and have learned some cool stuff. for example today how to hack verizon for free mobile internetin. thing is i cant get it to work, but heh, might help someone...

Posted by at 4:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

so stephanie has this theory, rule of 3 if you will, to which bad things tend to happen in groups of 3.

todays rule of 3 is one of unexpected financial burden.

#1 last friday one of stephs earrings fell out of her head in some undisclosed location. yeah you are correct in your thinking, these were of the diamond persuasion. a birthday present from this past year. one she will remember not only as the first nice jewelry i gave her in our 5 years together, but also as the disappointment of a little jewelry box before we were engaged. i guess receiving a small box round about that time a relationship is scheduled to make the next big step and have it be just earrings is a bit disheartening. that is my feeling, not hers, she never mentioned any disappointment. either way. one of them is gone.

#2 this deals with the hoe of my life. Tahoe. seems the electrical system is having an aneurisms. instance one (again in 3's) was the seat not remembering how my derrière like to be held. the seat recall looses it's mind every now and then. 2nd deals with the seat as well, except this time it is the seat heaters that have gone wacky. hot, hotter, hottest - repeat. only i never even turned them on. burning my ass. 3rd happened earlier this week. apparently left turn means hazards on for the ol hoe. figures the electrical system will freak right after the warranty. and it is the only part of that truck i do not THINK i can fix.

#3 is stephanies ipaq. there is an apparent problem with charging. and by problem i mean when you plug it in to charge is dies. and by dies i mean see you later. done. i bought a battery and installed it. turned on, lost all data, but i was happy the machine was not dead. oh that was until i plugged it in to charge again. dead. tried a few different chargers too.

so that sucks. the only up-side that i can see is that i now have 2 more things i can get her for various occasions. and the hoe, if she does not get her electronics in line, she may be going off an overpass.

rule of 3 blows...

Posted by at 1:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

i mean, you paint a dog that you are watching for a buddy green ONE time, and you get comments like this...

sheesh...

Posted by at 5:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

it seems we are going back to our primal instincts these days with this jacket.

i mean, seriously, this is what my cats do... complete with the static pop if you touch them.

next stop... peeing on things that are mine...

Posted by at 1:40 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

go away! we do not want you and your panera, starbucks, and bmw's!

Best Place to Live in Rural America

CNN Money ran an article from Progressive Farmer that has blown the doors open to my hometown. hopefully we can fend them off for a while before we are swallowed into something like Manassas... (#1 in AIDS since 88')

Posted by at 12:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

update from pops.

tards got into an accident.

before

after

Posted by at 8:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

pops sent this pic to me from collegehumor. it very well could be me, although i don't remember...

Posted by at 8:46 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

looks like my programming expertise may be more valuable than you think. can you imagine what a sweet world where my government issued web apps can be sent to mobile phones via SMS?

awe who am i kidding, most of my clients are still trying to figure out what internets are...

i do like the idea that macromedia is moving forward with new trends though.

Posted by at 4:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

...they did not want you to see

from the folks at anticlown

Posted by at 2:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

moving the team to Alexandria. son of a bitch. like 20 miles further than i am going now. on the road for 3 hrs a day gives me less time to maintain my impressive photoshop skilz!

Posted by at 10:26 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

saw this in my inbox this morning.

remember when people were dying to get some of these things? now it just pisses me off that i have so many.

Posted by at 3:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

i am not dead. i am simply boring.

and another thing, i am not obligated to write something h-i-larious everyday. this is not DAILY Ice Cold, no one told you to come here everytime you want to laugh. the fact that you make the daily pilgramage here to quench your thirst of wacky scenarios and quips is your own fault. you have no idea how much stress i am under to supress your hunger for more. MORE AND MORE! I KEEP GIVING AND GIVING AND YOU KEEP EATING AND GOURGING!

but. the fact is. i love you all. i love providing for you. that being said, here is a joke.

A guy named Henry went to the doctor and said, "Doctor, I've got a
problem, but if you're going to treat it, first you've got to promise not
to laugh."

Henry replied, "It's swollen."

pigs...

Posted by at 4:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)