2 nights before Chrimtas - by Brandon "Slim" Ryan
background: this is an excerpt from an email i sent to the warrenton crew about this up and coming thursday night (2 nights before christmas). btw - Chrimtas is Christmas (inside joke)
... twas TWO nights before Chrimtas, when all through the Long's
house, not a creature was sober, not even Jon's spouse.
... all our heads were hung by the toilet with care, in hopes the
Grimm Reaper soon will be there.
... the gang was squirming on their bathroom floor beds, while visions
of Advil pounded their heads.
... and Amba in her sweatpants, and I in my slacks, had just passed
out with a beer in our laps.
... when down in the garage there arose such a clatter, I fell off the
couch, bairly containing my bladder.
... away to the garage like stumbling white trash, tore open the door
and threw up in the trash.
... when what to my watering eyes should appear, but a miniature
hunter with eight tiny deer.
... with a little old rifle, laying against a deer carcass, I knew
in a moment, this had to be Marcus.
... and he hollered and shouted and called me bad names... "you
bastard, you asshole, you son of a bitch! help me get up, I fell in
the ditch!"
... his eyes - how bloodshot! his odor less than airy, his fist
missed my head when he threw the hail mary.
... he yelled and he screamed, for why we don't know. he was trying
to fight, but fell down in the snow.
... he sprang to his feet and to Imogen gave a whistle, and away to
her house they flew like a mistle.
... but I heard him exclaim, as he planned to hit it all night ...
"Merry Chrimtas to all, and to all.... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ..."