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much like i do, you may enjoy this essay i found on gorilla mask flagged as the greatest essay ever written.
i must say that i laughed. you know it is just some suburban white kid that listened to too much Emenem.
anal lube... hahaha
i have been leaving for work around 6am everyday to beat the traffic to DC from Ashburn. takes about an hour or so.
7:13 am this morning the Marines came though on their morning march. i could hear the cadence from my 6th floor office and i could see their breath when i looked out. that is dedication.
i woke up, took a shower, drove to work with heated seats, one cup of coffee, and a breakfast platter. i would still have a problem walking in a straight line.
so i was cruizing the VA Sex Offender website and have stumbled across something rather surprising.
i found 1 in close proximity to me in Ashburn.
i found 7 in close proximity to my home in Warrenton.
i found 4 in close proximity to my old house in McLean.
i found 0 in close proximity to my work in SE DC.
explain that one... even sex offenders do not want to be here.
taking a page from the "if jessi can do it, so can i" book, i have rebuilt Ice Cold using style sheets. i must say it was pretty easy. i guess it should be since i consider myself a "developer" on occasion.
basically now all i have to do if we get bored with this look is change the css page and viola!
i have only done the main page so far, but i will be working on the supporting pages after the holidays.
background: this is an excerpt from an email i sent to the warrenton crew about this up and coming thursday night (2 nights before christmas). btw - Chrimtas is Christmas (inside joke)
... twas TWO nights before Chrimtas, when all through the Long's
house, not a creature was sober, not even Jon's spouse.
... all our heads were hung by the toilet with care, in hopes the
Grimm Reaper soon will be there.
... the gang was squirming on their bathroom floor beds, while visions
of Advil pounded their heads.
... and Amba in her sweatpants, and I in my slacks, had just passed
out with a beer in our laps.
... when down in the garage there arose such a clatter, I fell off the
couch, bairly containing my bladder.
... away to the garage like stumbling white trash, tore open the door
and threw up in the trash.
... when what to my watering eyes should appear, but a miniature
hunter with eight tiny deer.
... with a little old rifle, laying against a deer carcass, I knew
in a moment, this had to be Marcus.
... and he hollered and shouted and called me bad names... "you
bastard, you asshole, you son of a bitch! help me get up, I fell in
the ditch!"
... his eyes - how bloodshot! his odor less than airy, his fist
missed my head when he threw the hail mary.
... he yelled and he screamed, for why we don't know. he was trying
to fight, but fell down in the snow.
... he sprang to his feet and to Imogen gave a whistle, and away to
her house they flew like a mistle.
... but I heard him exclaim, as he planned to hit it all night ...
"Merry Chrimtas to all, and to all.... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ..."
i got an all day parking space this morning. that is a momumental feat, but something left me a bit uneasy. when i parked i noticed the K-9 unit was in front of me. and the officer was leading the dog all around the area. as i was walking to the office, 2 more cruisers pulled up near him (and my truck).
i hope they are looking for drugs not a bomb. but if they wanted drugs they are totally in the wrong place, the guys on the other side of the street have them...
why don't people just open up their connections?
seriously though, what are the ramifications? i have no clue, is it a speed thing? not like you are more vounerable to viruses.
there are 3 connections in my neighborhood. 2 encrypted and one that is free. the free one is so weak that it will not connect. the other 2 are quite powerful (neighbors i assume). what is the etiquite for asking for their WEP key? offer $10/mo? hold washington post for ransom? i should find out this week if Verison will allow me to have DSL. then i will have my own WiFi, which i will probably lock just to be an ass. such a hipocrate.
on a totally separate note, anyone know how to crack a WEP key??
well i am all moved in to my new house. big thanks to all of those who helped out. those that didn't i expect one hell of a house warming gift. a few droppings on the topic now.
shit gets expensive; Ashburn is in the middle of nowhere; people do seem friendlier; home depot rocks; so does target; no one will ever come visit; my back hurts; traffic was "not that bad" this morning to DC; it takes 1 hour to make the commute with no traffic; what do i do with all the trash i have; i am not a good carpenter; i am barely a decent painter; i am an electricion (yeah thermostat); i am living with a chick now; damn i am getting old...
it is 10AM and i have already done everything i had planned today. i am not talking about work, i am talking about the morning ritual.
1. computer on (8AM)
2. coffee
3. work email (none always, which is good)
4. online banking (weap quietly)
5. gmail account #1
6. gmail account #2 (this one actually has email)
7. hotmail account (always good to catch up on my free mortgage and cialis offers)
8. open sharp reader and check the RSS feeds of the day (this typically will take me into lunch at least)
9. blog (optional)
it is now 10:10am... HELP!
i hope Billy Crystal can do the ceremony.
see what ha happened was... ice cold won this in 2003, back when we knew it as "cold as ice". by a landslide, so the association asked me to back out of the running this year. i cannot blame them really.
this day has not been stellar, not bad, just not good. well that is all about to change now because what did i find????
a ritz bit with peanut butter on two sides of the cracker! it took awhile to decide wether or not to eat it or save it. i ate it. it was delicious.
have to go find my shades...