i will do my best to document the events of last night. it will be broken into chapters because that is how my brain works.
Chapter one - background:
the tards have a BMW convertable that does not run. they have had it sitting on the street (which is basically on a hill) with a tarp over it for some time now. apparently they received a note informing them that it will be towed if not moved yesterday. i also believe that they have lost the keys to the BMW. i will explain that hypothisis later.
Chapter two - the anticipation:
roomate pops comes running down the stairs about 7pm tuesday evening with an enthusiasm that can only be brought on by a tard sighting. he screams "both the tards are home! somethings going to happen!" it is a commonology in the youngblood house that when two tards are in plain view outside, something is going to happen. so we gather the roommates by the picture window in the living room, turn off the TV and all lights, open windows, and get into our favorite tard watching positions (we have done this a few times in case you cannot tell). we were expecting a fight, none of could imagine what came next.
Chapter three - attempt number one:
none of us knew how right pops was to call us down to the tards. it seems as if they wanted to get the BMW moved so it would not be towed. parents are gone, just the two tards. they removed the tarp and proceeded to climb into the car through the roof (lost keys assumption #1). put the car in neutral and let the e brake off. we are on a hill here. of course the car takes off backwards towards our house. the stearing wheel was locked and the wheels were turned (lost keys assumption #2). the car rolls back into the curb infront of our house and is now perpendicular to the road. back tires on the curb and the front end blocking most of the road. there is just enough room for one car to pass. this is a pretty busy road. they have moved 10 feet and are stuck. they immediatly start fighting with each other insisting it was the others fault. they try to push, but that thing is not moving. traffic is backing up. they are screaming FU at the top of their lungs. roommates and i are sure this car is going to end up in our house.
tards screem on for another 30 min. steph comes home, charlie comes home, we fill them in and the audiance in the living room is big. we typically park cars on the street infron of our house, but luckily today we had the foresight not to. all cars in the driveway and down the street a bit.
Chapter four - attempt number two:
"parents" come home. drunk father figure wants to attach a rope to his pickup and pull it out of the way. good idea. keep in mind that the cussing and screaming does not stop when the "parents" come home it only gets louder because now you have drunk father figure screaming "shut up ~insert tard name~!!!" and the random but always ammusing "god dammit!!!" out of nowhere just adding fuel to the fire. they manage to get the car back where it was, but this is now not good enough. they want to get it into the driveway. they hooked it up to the pickup and pulled it about 20 feet down the hill until it was right infront of our house and thiers. they live across the street, we now have optimum viewing. except the nose was still in the road.
at this point chip and pops leave for a softball game. another 20 min or so, more screaming and cussing.
Chapter five - attempt number three:
since the wheels are turned and locked any movement they have made in a straight line is a direct result of dragging the shit out of it. they decide to get this thing in the diveway, they need to hook it to the pickup again and drag the front end 45 degrees into the driveway. this went on for several minutes with the rope breaking 3 times. never got it in the driveway, now all they have to do is get the front end of the car out of the street. pickup truck has had its left turn signal on the entire time (just thought you would like to know).
the back wheels are on the curb again, we are on a hill, and the wheels are turned in such a way that the trajectory takes the car directly into the area of our driveway where twin Tahoes sit side by side.
Chapter six - the finally:
how would you move the front end of a BMW out of the road. ram it of course! they pushed the pickup into the front quarter pannel of the BMW in an attempt to push it in to the curb. what they did not see was that the curb was all that was holding the car on the hill. no e-brake! the car poped up on the curb and set down the hill. TOWARDS THE TAHOES!!! SHIT!!!! this car missed chalies Hoe by about a foot and slammed into the bush beside it. where it sits today. burried in a bush in our front yard is a tard car. huge dented in trunk and does not run, windows down and roof half open. we narrowly missed one catastrophic collision of a BMW and two Hoes.
the pictures below were taken last night. i have since moved my Hoe but it was even with the sidewalk and another one right beside it next to the BMW.
Image #1
Image #2
note the broken tow ropes
Image #3
Fucking Tards...
