Ice Cold

i mean seriously. as if this guy was not feeling bad enough puking out the side of the car, he has to go and get decapitiated.

from autoblog

i just don't feel right.

Posted by at 9:32 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

yeah yeah yeah, i am really late on this bandwagon. HD TV is cool!

i watched a jaguar eat a turtle last night in 57 inches of HD and dolby surround. i also was fortunate enough to view what looked to be a big zit on the lip of a russian olympic pole vaulter. i guess that is one drawback, nobody wants to see that clearly.

Posted by at 9:41 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

exactly how long can you wear one pair of slacks before you need to go to the dry cleaners? shirts are easy, you don't unless you spill something, but pants?

anyone want to hold my hand and do the obligatory Thelma and Louise reference?

Posted by at 3:03 PM | Permalink | Comments (8)

as of 3:30 pm Friday 20th:

email from roomate:

Subject: yeah repo and stuff
Message: "The tard's probe just got pull away on a flatbed from the driveway. I am
not sure if he knows or what. Kind of funny."

Posted by at 3:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

i had my first crack head encounter today.

i have seen them walking around from my cuchy 6th floor window, but today as i was walking in from street parking i noticed one coming from the Sunoco with a fresh pack of smokes. he was attempting to open the pack with is teeth. of course not using the handy pull that goes around the top, he was literally biting the top off the pack. he must have caught hold of a good bite cause in the process of pulling on it, he almost fell over. luckily there was a honda accord that broke his fall.

i freek out, he's cracked out and walking down the street my truck is parked. in a rather random zig zag pattern. he runs into 2 more cars before disappearing into the ally. he did not run into mine. i watched him.

Posted by at 10:08 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

for all my redneck friends out there (Marcus)...

Trace Adkins - "Rough & Ready"

Mudgrips - white-tip
Cigar stickin' out of my face
Earnhardt racing sticker on the window
Banged up fender
4x4 - straight pipe roar
Primer and rust all over the door
Scarred up knuckles, Mack belt buckle
White t-shirt - Ain't afraid to work
Got a 'what-are-you-looking-at-asshole' smirk

Cold beer, hot wings
Wranglers, Skoal ring
Get just what you see
Gun rack, ball cap
Don't take no crap
Ain't a pretty boy-toy
I'll rock you steady
Rough and ready

now i have to go to a meeting, i can dream though. those were the days...

Posted by at 11:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

i am going to get a coke. mmm... coke...

Posted by at 1:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

if i am not politically correct i do apologize.

this is going to have to be the first of a weekly installment of "the tards". let me give you some background:

across the street from where i live is a house with a mom, step dad, and two sons. the sons are slightly screwed up adolescents to say the least. from our best guess they are about 18 - 20 and have a violent case of ADD or something. basically they fight, scream, run in circles all day long. they can drive and i do believe they do work. any time the tards are outside, my entire house will stop what they are doing and come to the picture window to watch. some tard instances from the past are as follows:
fighting in the street, lighting the garage on fire in attempts to light the grill, driving their own cars into each other, threatening to kill their parents, police encounters, tards on motorized scooters, pouring gasoline on the other tards car, to name a few.

this brings us to the events of the weekend past:
the tards have been seen leaving the house with baseball bats and eggs on numerous occasions. knowing what boys do with these instruments, we have been watching with a tight eye around our house and cars. up until now we and the tards have had a peaceful cohabitation. i came home Saturday night at about 2 am and discovered egg on the girlfriends car. now a quick sanity check, who would you assume is the culprit?
right, the tards.
well in my stupor i decided to retaliate in full force. sending the girlfriend inside i grabbed a carton of our chickens finest. and proceeded to launch 3 from the front porch. after missing twice and connecting once with the drivers side door, i thought about the CSI style evidence that was left behind. egg shrapnel from across the street was apparent. i decided to move up the street and attack from a direction that a car could come from. emptied the carton. felt pretty good about it.

now for all of you thinking "what if they did not do it", i have an answer for you. girlfriends car still had egg on it. so if the tards did it, it is obvious who the poultry sniper is. if they did not, then it looks like we were hit too. so no blame could be bestowed upon us. plus either way i got to egg a tard car.

all that being said, we have started a war. we have limited video footage from popie that i will attempt to post, and i am sure after this last escapade that there will be more stories to come.

i will keep you posted. and as of 7am Monday morning, no retaliation has been administered.

Posted by at 2:47 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

i guess this comes as a shock b/c i have never knowingly been discriminated against. i am not talking racial or age, i am talking about parking. vehicular discrimination. this city is full of it. lets discuss:

all parking garages are 6' 7" or smaller. who cares you say? someone with a 6' 8" truck! that's who! jackass. luckily my $10 garage is 6' 8" exactly, so i can nip the top on turns, but that is what the roof rack is for (ironically if i did not have the rack i would fit fine). parked fine all last week, but today i get a parking attendant with a power trip, funny huh. says i have to park in the oversized vehicle section. well no shit, of course that is the first place i look when i come in. so as i listen to him say this pointing to the section (which is full of course), i am like WTF am i supposed to do? so then he becomes friendly and says as long as he is working i can park in a regular spot. well thanks Mr. parking lot guy. i pay $10 a day and you "let" me park in a spot.

so am i so bad that i drive an SUV in the city? the city thinks so. so what if i take twice as much gas, hog the road, and pollute the o-zone. if i want to drive over a fallen light post or pummel an occasional crack head in the street, it is my god given right.

stupid assed city.

Posted by at 4:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

wait, i have done this. stupid redneck fun.

Posted by at 4:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

keeping with the bathroom theme. i saw this on engadget.

Posted by at 11:38 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

learning new things about other firms is sometimes fun. take today for example:

we had a cognos rep come in today.

PPC's experience: all a software rep does is say he does not know why it is broken, then tries to sell you the latest and greatest of his jacked assed product.

BP's experience: he comes in, sits down, does all your work while you read the paper, says nothing, goes home. you say "look at all the work i just did!", you blog about it.

i can't put my finger on it, but there is something to be said here.

i love cognos! no no no, that is definatly not what needs to be said. but i do like how we use their reps as whipping boys because we give them so much money.

Posted by at 4:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

something to say while standing next to someone at a urinal.

"thats a funny color"

Posted by at 4:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

lots of things going on. bear with me.

- came back from the beach. lots of good friends, good food, and marcus vomiting on himself. caught no fish on my day trip to the gulf stream, but did not vomit on myself.

- tan as all hell, may have to check another box when it come to race.

- started the new job with BP in SE DC. got so lost on the pre-trip out here Sunday night that both Popie and I were laid back in the seat and running red lights to avoid getting shot or hepatitis.

- had a rough day #1. it is definatly not PPC.

- day #2 is not that bad. found the smoking area (right across from the liquer store), found the token chineese run deli (like DJ's on speed), got the Trillian running, and back to wasting time blogging. so all in all it is kinda like PPC. i have done nothing in 2 days.

that is about it. hope all is well in the world. don't call between 6 and 6:30 b/c you cant use cell phones in this busted assed town. now i have to be that guy with the gay assed boom hanging from my face. or this.

Posted by at 4:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)