Ice Cold

it amazes me how the first inkling of warm weather and people loose their freekin' minds. granted i am guilty of spring fever as well, it is hard to resist after months of cold yucky weather, but we need to keep our wit among us. there are a couple of spring fever no no's that one should look out for.

just because it is warmer does not mean that your pasty ass feet are ready to come out and be exposed to the world. this is a gradual process that you need to implement in the privacy of your own home. think about it, they have been covered up for 6 months now, spend some time reviving them before unveiling them for another season.

windows down, sunroof open, radio blasting. admit it. you are kinda chilly driving down the road in your shorts and flip-flops.

on the first warm days of the year you want to take off early and go somewhere to be outside. try to stay away form interstates (I66, I95, I495). you are not a pioneer here, lots of other people have the same idea and you will be sitting in traffic on that gorgeous day.

other than that, dust off the clubs, wash the whip and enjoy the spring time ahead of you. remember you will all be bitching about how hot it is soon enough...

Posted by at 11:24 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

this is a discussion i have had many times in the last year or so. i am hoping that this post will put it to rest. what is the definition of a sport? well dictionary.com says:

sport (spôrt, sp rt) n.
1. Physical activity that is governed by a set of rules or customs and often engaged in competitively.
2. An activity involving physical exertion and skill that is governed by a set of rules or customs and often undertaken competitively.
3. An active pastime; recreation.

the argument has been that skiing, hunting, fishing, golf are non sports. we are not talking about the bassmasters classic or PGA or Olympic downhill, we are talking about weekend warriors. just because there is no ball, no ref, or no teams does not mean that it is not a sport. what does this mean? it means that i can now classify myself as a "sports guy", thus putting years of male stereotyping behind me. so from now on i can walk up to a group of people "talking sports", hold my head high, and tell them about the "point spread" of the buck i shot 5 years ago.

Posted by at 4:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

some one please explain the rules of flagelence to me.

so i was on the way home from chili's for jz's going away lunch and i could distinctly smell a fart. i quickly scream out who did that and the new kid DW said from the back seat that it was him. in my car. farted. windows up. no warning. just let the gas tell the tale. WTF IS THAT?

this upsets me. there are definitive rules regarding flagelence.
1) not in a new car.
2) not with people you do not know that well.
3) not in my new car.
4) not with the windows rolled up.
5) not in a new car
6) if one slips out, make a joke, apologize, something.

no more bringing the new kid anywhere. big mistake.

Posted by at 2:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

for some reason the day after St. Patrick's day is not as fun. an entire evening spent celebrating my culture in the liquid form. i find it hard to formulate a complete thought let alone do any actual work. so i will sit here with my coke, jug of water, and bin of Advil while my body punishes me as it sees fit.

Posted by at 11:11 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

in the blur of irish car bombs and jager bombs friday night, i almost forgot about the greatest competition that has ever been imagined. the hometown showdown!

rules are simple:

one weekend in the hometown of that weeks contestant. very simple, the best hometown weekend wins. the contestants are as of now: central PA with hollywood cole, eastern shore with j tucker, posh mclean with jz, and the slam jam warrenton weekend with yours truely! how could this possibly go wrong? not like we could get arrested or anything!

a final schedule has not been derived yet, but i will post as soon as all the participants are in accordance.

Posted by at 4:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

you can feel it, march madness is in the air, college basketball is all anyone can talk about these days. this comes as a welcome topic to most, but for those like me that does not know the big east from the big easy it can be a tough time. but there are some ways to feel like you fit in with the other 95% of the human population my friends.

1) how to fill out your bracket:
there are a variety of ways one can fill out the dreaded office bracket.

pick teams that reside in states you have visited and liked over the states you have not visited or do not like.

go to espn and pick all the teams listed on the main page to go all the way, don't worry about the games leading up to that, it is all chance anyway.

pick the teams with the cool names (gonzaga all the way!)

2) talk the talk:
if you are unfortunate enough to get called out on your team choices say; "i had a hunch" or "they have a great defense this year". finally if you are stuck in a position about whomever's favorite team, you can always say; "well, the big 10 is a tough conference" (thanks hollywood) or "wait till that team matures and the freshmen and sophomores become seniors".

by using these tried and true methods you will make it through march. now all you have to worry about is people bitching about free agents, whatever that means...

Posted by at 4:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

while we were on the topic of McDonald's and asians...

WTF is this???

Posted by at 9:43 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

...too much?

McDonald's has gone a bit suggestive with its new cup design. featuring a dripping wet asian girl, eyes closed, smiling like she just got @$%#ed on.
SKEET! SKEET! SKEET! SKEET!

all wrapped up in their slogan, "I'm Lovin' It". well it looks like she is!

Posted by at 9:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

went to see this movie over the weekend. it was awesome! unfortunatly it was not one of those movies that i think get better everytime you watch, like for example meet the parents. it's humor was not hidden. now i am sure there is parts that i missed that would be hilarious, but no classic lines like "CAN YOU DEAL WITH THAT!?" or "you're in good company, JC was jewish".

there was a bigtime cast, combining meet the parents with old school. then add a little snoop dogg and you have yourself one funny assed movie.

you all should go see it and let me know what you thought.

Posted by at 9:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

so i went to play golf today, 65 and beautiful. i was shooting a great front nine (for me great would be 45ish). i was 2 strokes under Jr. at the turn. then my downfall. clubhouse hotdogs and 6 beers for the back nine. in golf, beer is my kryptonite. i can't pass it up, but i can't keep a ball on the fairway if i even smell it. long story short, by hole 12 i was half drunk, 8 strokes back, and trying to pull Dukes of Hazzard style manuvours in the golf cart.

...it was noon...

Posted by at 8:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

i really wish i had thought of this first. MTV has come out with a new show, Pimp my ride with xzibit. this is probably one of the best ideas for a TV show that they could have come out with. in the time of Trading Spaces, Xtreem Makeover, Cribs, and a plethera of other reality TV, they have finally come up with a show that people really care about... their rides!

of course the people they have choosen are complete munches, but some of the things they are doing with these cars is amazing. apparently they have zippy budget caps, and it would probably be more cost effective to buy the tools a new car, but it makes for great TV.

make sure you try out the ride pimpulator.

Posted by at 9:26 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

my roommate went to the DC101 fat tuesday party last week. he is the one in the back, skinny, dark hair, looking away from the camera. looks like roach is picking up his squirrel!

Posted by at 9:57 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

in the battle of AM jockeys, who reigns supreme?

there has been much discussion by office watercoolers as to which AM radio shows people cycle through and in which order. i personally have only two before i make the switch to CD. elliot in the morning and the sports junkies. and that is typically their order of appearance on my FM dial. until recently.

i have always been an elliot fan. he used to make me laugh out loud in the car on the way to work, but recently he has fallen off (or maybe i have moved on). looking them up on DC 101 website did not help either. elliot and the class are a homely bunch of people. i had visions of mamma and her huge jugs looking all hot, that was certainly not the case. if you have never put a face to the voice in your car, don't. you will never be the same.

so i find myself switching over to 99.1 to catch the "junks". now i must admit that the title sports junkies turned me off for a long time. i am not a sports guy. until i realized that they are not all sports as i had once believed. in fact they don't do much sports talk. and the little they do is nice info to have when you are sitting at a bar and forced to talk sports with another guy b/c that's "what guys do". i must admit that their own phrases are catchy to me. i have caught myself more than once using the term "zippy" or "donkey's" or "hur-ting". either way it is a refreshing change from elliots constant banter with what seems to be the stupidist callers in the VA, DC, MD area.

again there is not point to this story but to say that my cycle has shifted. elliot is not longer #1, long live the donkey's!

Posted by at 9:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

looks like there is a custody battle arisin'

gtown wants me for another 2 weeks. our fearless leader is looking for me to leave at the end of this week...

stay tuned

Posted by at 9:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)