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August 16, 2004
the tards (vol. 1)
if i am not politically correct i do apologize. this is going to have to be the first of a weekly installment of "the tards". let me give you some background: across the street from where i live is a house with a mom, step dad, and two sons. the sons are slightly screwed up adolescents to say the least. from our best guess they are about 18 - 20 and have a violent case of ADD or something. basically they fight, scream, run in circles all day long. they can drive and i do believe they do work. any time the tards are outside, my entire house will stop what they are doing and come to the picture window to watch. some tard instances from the past are as follows: this brings us to the events of the weekend past: now for all of you thinking "what if they did not do it", i have an answer for you. girlfriends car still had egg on it. so if the tards did it, it is obvious who the poultry sniper is. if they did not, then it looks like we were hit too. so no blame could be bestowed upon us. plus either way i got to egg a tard car. all that being said, we have started a war. we have limited video footage from popie that i will attempt to post, and i am sure after this last escapade that there will be more stories to come. i will keep you posted. and as of 7am Monday morning, no retaliation has been administered.
fighting in the street, lighting the garage on fire in attempts to light the grill, driving their own cars into each other, threatening to kill their parents, police encounters, tards on motorized scooters, pouring gasoline on the other tards car, to name a few.
the tards have been seen leaving the house with baseball bats and eggs on numerous occasions. knowing what boys do with these instruments, we have been watching with a tight eye around our house and cars. up until now we and the tards have had a peaceful cohabitation. i came home Saturday night at about 2 am and discovered egg on the girlfriends car. now a quick sanity check, who would you assume is the culprit?
right, the tards.
well in my stupor i decided to retaliate in full force. sending the girlfriend inside i grabbed a carton of our chickens finest. and proceeded to launch 3 from the front porch. after missing twice and connecting once with the drivers side door, i thought about the CSI style evidence that was left behind. egg shrapnel from across the street was apparent. i decided to move up the street and attack from a direction that a car could come from. emptied the carton. felt pretty good about it.
Posted by Brandon at 02:47 PM
Comments
way to go leaving the egg on steph's car...
do you know what that will do to your clearcoat?
either way, i love a good neighbor war, especially when said neighbors are slightly retarded...this is gonna rule.
you need to hook up a webcam out of that window...24/7 excitement.
Posted by: hollywood on August 16, 2004 02:55 PM
i found out what happened. it takes paint off. i feel real bad about stephs car, time to get out the ol' pig sticker and have some fun with the tires. although somehow i am not sure that will make her feel better.
Posted by: B4 on August 16, 2004 03:15 PM
uh oh -- do you really want this to escalate? Since they have an affection for gasoline and fire? Be careful. I would hate B4 to be former.
Posted by: erica on August 16, 2004 03:55 PM